Helping Teens Open Up in Therapy

In our work with teens, we focus on creating a safe space in order to help them feel comfortable opening up and making the most out of their time in therapy. We know that a strong therapeutic relationship is vital to treatment success. And there are many things therapists can do to foster this connection. At the beginning of therapy, we work to establish a genuine connection so that our adolescent clients can come to know that we’re in their corner every step of the way. This isn’t hard for me or my team of therapists because we genuinely like teenagers and have a true appreciation for where they are in their stage of life. Before getting my PhD in clinical psychology, I volunteered for many years as a youth leader in local church settings. Although I did not practice therapy in those settings, I gained valuable insights into the importance of building relationships and saw how this helped teens to grow over time. Teens are awesome and this season can offer some of the best years of a person’s life. It’s a time of increasing freedom, personal growth, self-discovery and lots of fun! However, it can also be filled with stress at school, peer conflict, tension at home, dangerous risk-taking behaviors, and other stressful events. Helping teens open up to a trustworthy adult about the hardships they face can be pretty life-changing and can also change the trajectory of their mental health. When a teen is able to process their life with someone, it promotes self-awareness, healthy development, and positive social skills. 

Some of the ways my team of therapists and I work to foster teen engagement in the therapy process include taking a non-judgmental stance, asking a lot of questions, providing emotional reflections and genuine empathy, remaining curious, and offering direct feedback. Studies show that empathy is a core component of any good therapy. Empathy is the term used to describe listening with genuine curiosity, attunement, and openness. Empathy helps us understand and share in the emotions and experiences of other people. Having empathy as a therapist is pretty essential to the work that I do. In my experience working with teens, though, I have found that it is also helpful for parents to show empathy to their kids. This is why when we work with teens in therapy, at Lightway we prioritize our work with their parents as well. Whether we work with teens in our Yorba Linda office or through a video therapy appointment, we make time to meet with parents as well so that we can help parents discover new ways to better understand and share in the experiences of their teens. This fosters connection outside of the therapy room, between the teen and their parents. Building connection is key to mental health and wellbeing and it is thus an important area of focus in adolescent therapy. 

Once a teen feels comfortable and ready to open up with us in therapy, we then help them identify goals that we can tackle together and we work on making tangible progress. This might look like learning new coping skills for managing big emotions, figuring out how to increase motivation and reduce stress, lowering social anxiety, finding ways to better get along with their family and friends, and discovering how to feel happier or less anxious. Oftentimes, parents call us because their teens are going through something difficult or are not doing all that well. Understandably, parents feel a sense of urgency around making progress and meeting treatment goals. And we certainly understand why. No parent wants to see their child struggle, and parents are instinctually hardwired to fight for the wellbeing of their kids. However, sometimes the teen is not as motivated as the parent to make changes. In fact, they may not be all that interested in coming to therapy in the first place, or may not understand how therapy can actually help them. This is why we find it to be critical to focus on establishing a therapeutic connection in the early phase of therapy. Once that foundation has been established, we find that the progress parents are hoping for comes a lot more easily, and the teen develops their own sense of personal buy-in to the therapy process. 

While therapy does take time to work, the good news is it often does work. This can be said for teens who meet with us in our Yorba Linda therapy practice in Orange County, as well as for those who meet with us through telehealth video therapy appointments. Here at Lightway, we tend to build connections with teens pretty quickly, which sets us up for success throughout our therapeutic relationship. If your teen has been struggling and you’re not sure what to do next, we encourage you to give us a call so that we can talk more about whether or not therapy can help. Our therapists have availability to meet with you in person in our Yorba Linda therapy office, as well as online through telehealth video therapy. You can reach out here to schedule a free phone call today. In the meantime, hang in there.